The gravity and grief of love

I’ve been on a hot streak for reading lately. Not because I’ve been finishing a bunch of books, but because my last seven reads have all been at least four stars.

I just finished two five-star reads back-to-back, though they are very different from one another. “The Love Haters” by Katherine Center was maybe more of a 4.5, but I rounded up because I did really enjoy it.

It reminded me a lot of Abby Jimenez’s works, and she is my favorite romance author. “The Love Haters” is about Katie, a filmmaker who is sent to the Florida Keys to make a promotional video for the Coast Guard featuring Tom “Hutch” Hutchinson, an internet sensation after going viral saving Jennifer Aniston’s dog.

The only problem? Katie can’t swim, and that’s a requirement for the job. Never fear, Hutch steps in, teaching her how to swim, and the rest is history. There was some drama near the end with a hurricane hitting the keys and Katie being stuck in its path.

It checked a lot of boxes — cute romance, tension, character growth and near-death experience. If you like Jimenez’s work or just want a book about a place much warmer than Iowa right now, I’d highly recommend.

But what I really want to talk about is the book I just finished — “Atmosphere” by Taylor Jenkins Reid.

If you’re a reader of historical or literary fiction, you’ve probably seen this book everywhere. It was released in the beginning of June and has already amassed more than 500,000 ratings on Goodreads, averaging 4.34 stars. More than half of readers gave it 5 stars.

If you read, and probably loved, “The Women,” by Kristin Hannah, this is the closest thing I’ve experienced since reading that book.

“Atmosphere” is set in the 1980s as our main character, Joan Goodwin, is one of the first women allowed into NASA’s space shuttle program. Along the way, we meet a host of side characters in her coworkers at NASA. From the calculated Lydia Danes to the sweetheart John Griffin and the enigmatic Vanessa Ford, Joan finds herself pulled into a new family.

I originally planned on not reading this book. I’m weird about not liking outer space or the 80s, so I thought this book would not be for me at all. But it’s not about either of those things. Those are simply the backdrop to a story about women daring to reach past the limits they have been given.

The exploration of what is beyond Earth’s atmosphere comes second to Joan’s exploration of herself and the all-consuming nature of her love for Vanessa.

In a time period where it is either their love or their jobs, Joan and Vanessa are forced to contain their love in a bubble only they are privy to.

The story starts in December 1984 with Joan in mission control and Vanessa on a space shuttle where things are going wrong. It’s up to Joan to help Vanessa safely navigate the shuttle back through the Earth’s atmosphere.

From there, the book primarily takes place in flashbacks as the two women meet for the first time and eventually fall in love. The story is heartbreaking as they watch their friends and family fall in love, get married and have kids — something they can never have. They will never be able to love out loud.

Part of me feels glad we don’t have to feel that way anymore. But part of me feels we haven’t come as far as we should have.

“Happiness is so hard to come by,” Joan says. “I don’t understand why anyone would begrudge anyone else for managing to find some of it.”

Another big part of the book is Joan’s close relationship with her niece Frances. Joan’s sister Barbara isn’t the best mother to Frances, and Joan becomes the stability Frances craves.

“Listen to me,” Joan said. “I was circling two hundred miles above the Earth, and all I wanted was to get home and see you. Do you understand that? Do you understand that I don’t care how big or small this world is, that you are the center of mine? Do you understand that, to someone, you are everything that matters on this entire planet?”

It puts to words the relationship I feel with my daughter. It’s something I want her to grow up knowing. Joan’s feelings on watching Frances grow from a toddler into a bright little girl mimics how I feel watching Eliza grow from a squishy little lump to the sweet girl she is now.

“But to love Frances was to be always saying goodbye to the girl Frances used to be and falling in love again with the girl Frances was becoming.”

All this to say, read “Atmosphere.”