Is there no going back?

Most of us accept the wisdom of conducting ourselves well in public, using suitable language and generally displaying good manners. It usually saves us from embarrassment, making a bad impression and avoiding negative reactions from bystanders.

The way many people conduct themselves today, however, is decidedly different.

The way some of our politicians conduct themselves is especially different, although many of their supporters seem to take it all in stride. Even extra-marital affairs and shady business deals don’t concern voters about their candidates anymore. This acceptance of flawed candidates is not like in the past when even the slightest impropriety immediately ended a political career.

The differences not only relate to personal behavior; it also pertains to how we treat one another. I guess people have no problem with someone who insults others, but their tolerance still surprises me. And the language people use has changed dramatically in just a few short years.

Probably, decorum and good manners were already waning; I just didn’t recognize it.

Looking back, though, it appears our culture changed significantly during the presidential election campaign of 2016. In that campaign, for the first time, politicians displayed behavior that was significantly different compared to what we were accustomed to, and as I recall, I wasn’t alone in finding it disturbing.

One of the first clues things had changed was when the candidate who would become president made fun of a disabled reporter during his speech by mimicking hand gestures that clearly showed the reporter was handicapped. Those who thought it was cruel and wrong to ridicule a person with disabilities, condemned the behavior. Supporters in the audience, however, laughed and applauded his antics.

Then there were the hurtful remarks he made about a Republican opponent’s facial features. Insulting a female opponent’s appearance was unheard of in politics before then. Before long, there were insults and disrespectful nicknames for just about every opponent.

It was so different than anything Americans had been exposed to in political campaigns, we all just looked on, our mouths agape, wondering what just happened here?

Who could have predicted this was a preview of the nasty political dialogue that would flood our political discourse for the next ten years?

We’ve been subjected to personal attacks, hateful put-downs, defamatory accusations, derogatory name-calling and crude, often foul-mouthed gestures and insults - deplorable conduct at the lowest level.

As insults and vitriol became the norm, more politicians from both parties followed suit. The once polite State of the Union speech became one of hurling insults at a former president, matched then by insults directed at the current president during his State of the Union speech.

Congressional hearings became political shouting matches. The time-honored custom of showing respect for members of one another’s party, is long gone. We live in a society now where a president actually said publicly when informed of the passing of a distinguished American statesman, ”Good, I’m glad he’s dead.”

As political rhetoric became more abusive and insulting, so, too, has the language and behavior of the public at large. Gone are most guardrails against hateful remarks and inappropriate language.

Headlines now include words once forbidden. Profanity is alluded to on TV and spelled out in detail in newspapers, and it’s no-holds-barred on social media. Political analysts on TV frequently use barnyard language to tell controversial stories. There seems to be no limit on what can be posted on X.

Nowadays, profanity has become normalized in casual conversations, comedians use it at-will and social media is awash in it. Inappropriate language is commonly heard today in workplaces, unlike its rarity in workplaces of the generation now in retirement.

The use of insults and profanity in the public domain, and especially in the halls of Congress and the White House, may be having a negative effect on our American culture. It may also be contributing to the anger and frustration a majority of voters are expressing in the polls.

Nevertheless, political candidates who use crude language and regularly insult others are no longer rejected by the public and no longer ostracized for such behavior. Unbelievably, they get elected.

If this trend in speech and behavior is now deemed acceptable, the chances of returning to polite discourse and good manners may be out of reach. There may be no going back.