COLUMN: Getting the genie back in the bottle

Once upon a time there was a TV sit-com called, “I Dream of Jeannie,” about an innocent 2,000-year-old genie rescued by an astronaut who found a bottle on a deserted island. Jeannie was lovely and the astronaut handsome. The “three wishes rule” didn’t exist, so she worked her magic without consulting her rescuer.

The rescuer was able to make her go back in the bottle, even when she didn’t want to. Eventually, she was given her freedom and allowed to stay out of the bottle. Jeannie and the astronaut fell in love and married. Everything Jeannie did was wholesome and kind, and mostly humorous.

It was a simpler time. Civility existed.

Fast forward. The “genie” released today is not wholesome and kind. The genie released is an environment of division, harsh words, alienation from friends, family and anyone that looks or acts differently. We seem to have forgotten what it is to be civil or kind, understanding, or respectful of differing opinions, beliefs and politics.

Both sides, whether leaning “red or blue,” might as well wear that color to minimize contact and the possibility of interacting and erupting into something serious.

Even at a young age, I held opinions. Did I expect everyone to agree with me? No. Did I enjoy the debate? Yes. Could we agree to disagree without being disagreeable? Yes. Did it take work and self-control? Yes. Did it preserve relationships? Yes. Do both parties need to want the relationship to be preserved? Yes.

I grew up in a time when political violence seemed an everyday occurrence. Political assassinations were too common. Vietnam was in full swing, resulting in protests. Civil rights leaders and activists were beaten and killed for voicing opinions. Violence on college campuses was common as well as acts of civil disobedience.

As a teenager, I began to believe that gifted politicians were killed. It was a very dark time. Fear about where this country was headed was widespread even in the rural areas. We didn’t bear witness to the violent happening except on the nightly news from one of the three TV channels.

Then something changed. Americans witnessed the violence on their small TV screens and the same type of reporting was taking place on all three major media channels and available in print media. As a result, citizens were appalled at the violence inflicted in Selma and across the south with visual images of violence in the streets, and body bags returning from Vietnam.

Amazingly, politicians from both parties worked toward common ground. They actually talked to each other and listened to constituents. There was effort to make positive change.

It was a simpler time.

No Facebook, Reddit, Instagram, Tik Tok, AI, X (aka Twitter), BlueSky, podcasts or internet influencers telling people how to think. News feeds weren’t determined by algorithm, clicks on a hand-held computer/cell phone, or “doom scrolling.”

Now we go to our corners, point blaming fingers, those not wearing our red or blue team color. Family and friendship have been disrupted. Holidays erupt into disharmony if politics become a topic. Dating decisions made along political lines. Church communities harmed.

How do we get the “genie” back in the bottle?

Put down the phones. Give yourself a break. Turn down the volume, modify the tone and rhetoric. Take a breath. Think before you speak. Is the cost of having the last word worth losing friends and family?

If we have any chance of repairing broken communities, we must listen more and talk less. Seek to understand before being understood. Check sources before repeating. Someone has to take the first step.

In rural areas, we have connections that are far reaching, intertwined, and generational. If there is any hope in repairing our collective brokenness, it takes effort and will. The cost to communities is too great and we must try.

The “genie” needs to be contained before it consumes all of us. We can’t do this alone.