OPINION: Can I do nothing?

I’ve been slowly working my way through the book “How to Do Nothing” by Jenny Odell and it certainly has me thinking. Though I’m far from being done with the book, the author’s emphasis on the negative sides of society’s hustle culture has me thinking harder about my daily life and mental health.

While hustling is great for your work, it absolutely seeps into the rest of a person’s life as well. If I’m on my own, whether I’m doing the dishes or taking a walk, I will have an audiobook or YouTube video playing. If I’m waiting in line or sitting in the waiting room, I’ve pulled up either an e-book or am going through my emails.

Even in the time I’ve set aside for relaxing, I feel the need to multitask to make the time worthwhile. Playing on my Switch? Better bring that audiobook back around. Watching TV? Time to start working on my next craft project as well.

Whether it’s from the hustle culture or having everything at our fingertips due to technology, I am one of many who has a hard time not making the most of my time. This weekend was the closest I’ve had to a full weekend off in months and it stressed me out.

I tried to force myself to just enjoy being in the moment and not being at work, but it didn’t work. Every ten minutes I’d get up and walk into my living room trying to find some chore so I didn’t feel like I was wasting my time.

Why does it feel like I’m wasting my time if I’m not actively checking things off a to-do list? Why does every second of my time have to be spent doing what society deems worthwhile? These questions were running through my mind as I attempted, and failed, to do nothing.

The thing is, deep down, I know if I can take time to do nothing, I will be more productive later on. If I am not taking time for my mind and body to rest and exist without the constant pulls for attention from both the world and the internet, I won’t have the energy to accomplish all I want to accomplish. Though I know this deep down, it’s not something I am apt to do without practice and me forcing myself to comply.

I know how this can sound. Oh poor me, I’m just too hard of a worker. No, I know how to be lazy, I’m just too anxious to actually do nothing. If I were to take a walk or make dinner without ticking another video of my to-watch list or audiobook off my to-read list, it truly feels like a waste of time. Why do one thing if I could do two at the same time? Life is too short to go so slowly. Note: This is also largely why all YouTube videos or audiobooks I listen to are at 2x speed or faster.

Because of all of this, I find it hard to simply exist, to listen to my thoughts alone and be OK not furthering some goal or another. One way I’m attempting to help myself with this is journaling. I have a journal I started writing in last November, but the final entry was from the day my grandpa died and the journal felt too heavy to pick it back up.

The last few days, as I’ve tried to get back into it, I’ve definitely struggled a bit. Writing is something I have to do without YouTube or an audiobook in the background. Even music can only be instrumental or I’ll get distracted by the words.

Because of this, I have no choice but to sit and write. I’ve also found that writing by hand forces me to be much more present in the moment than typing, likely partly because it takes me so much longer to write than type.

While journaling isn’t quite “doing nothing,” it is helping me keep myself centered and my mind a little calmer. My next goal on my do-nothing journey is to take a walk without my phone. No calling my mom, no audiobook or step tracking, just existing in nature.

As I slowly work to do nothing and reclaim my time for my mind rather than my to-do list, maybe I’ll be able to start having lazy days without feeling guilty again.