OPINION: The power of balance

In a classic example of telling my children to do as I say and not as I do, I am pleased to report they are achieving something in their lives that I wasn’t good at — balance.

All three of them work hard but have chosen to seek more balance in their lives as they grow older. All three recognize there’s power in balancing the demands of the job and life outside the job.

My example of putting work before my own health and welfare was on full display during my years as an administrator at the college. I was eager to advance, eager to please, willing to take on a load of work that kept growing and growing. When someone else wasn’t performing well, many of those duties were handed to me by my boss — adding to those I already had. During those years I worked as assistant to the president, I took on a wide range of assignments, eventually delegated to several different people after I retired.

Unfortunately, my salary never grew equally to the growth of my job duties, which was fairly typical for women in those days.

After I retired, I realized the toll it had taken on me trying to meet all the demands of the job. Fortunately, my children had already been raised at the time and had lives of their own. I knew other younger mothers working long hours, however, and in the process really struggled to adequately meet the needs of their young families.

I was merely failing to meet the needs of myself.

One of my daughters who has worked more than 25 years producing documentaries had to learn the hard way that extreme dedication to one’s work can take a toll on one’s health. When she quit her job a couple of years ago to devote herself to her daughter’s enrollment at a performing arts conservatory, she realized how she had been burning the candle at both ends for a very long time. Today, she balances her daughter’s needs with her own, working part time on documentaries and being together in their new adventure.

My son and his wife, having spent many years at their jobs, chose to make changes near the end of their careers in order to achieve more satisfaction. Both of them have always been successful at finding balance between work and pursuing other passions. Both had good jobs but still developed hobbies, friendships, took regular vacations, spent a lot of time with extended family and never let their workplace become their ball and chain — like I did.

Today, they are enjoying exciting new positions where they are appreciated for their long years of valuable experience. Instead of hanging on to their previous jobs, putting in their time until retirement, they are once again eager to go to work in the morning and have no plans to retire any time soon.

My second daughter who has worked for 23 years for one employer was given the opportunity recently to advance from assistant director to director of a complex, challenging department.

She was clearly reluctant to make the change but was encouraged by her superiors and family to go for it. Everyone knew she was well qualified for the job.

Finally, after much soul-searching, she decided not to seek advancement and to stay in the position she’s in. Why? She recognizes the power of having balance in one’s life.

She probably learned some of it from observing me. She doesn’t want more stress — there’s enough of it already in her current position. She doesn’t want her job to be all consuming — of her time, her thoughts, her soul. She saw what my job did to me — the pressure, the overload of responsibilities, working late at the office and continuing at home, the fatigue from not sleeping well at night.

She saw me battle high blood pressure, headaches and tension, and said “no thanks” to adding more of it to her life.

I admire anyone today who demands more balance in their lives. They are smarter than I was. Sometimes older generations have a tendency to be critical of younger folks for their perceived lack of dedication to their work — and sometimes that criticism is warranted.

But maybe they recognize there’s a lot more to life than just working.