COLUMN: The gender line between passionate and crazy

A few years ago, my husband took my sister and me to a Jonas Brothers concert in Omaha. While he watched the Badgers game on his phone in his seat, Lilly and I sang along to every song while arguing over whether Nick or Joe is cuter. (It’s definitely Joe).

Every few minutes, something would happen to set off a wave of screaming. After the concert, my husband told me he’s stood next to planes taking off, and yet this was the loudest experience of his life.

There were screams and tears and women singing at the top of their lungs. It was the perfect description of a group of “crazy fan girls.”

My husband and I have also been to several NFL games. We saw an entire group of men dressed as Mike Ditka in Bears sweater vests.

It doesn’t matter the weather, we’ve been to games in every month, there’s always a group of men with their shirts off and big letters painted on their chests. They are the epitome of dedicated football fans.

Last week, news reporter Erin Henze and I went to Ames for a book signing and Q&A for Christina Lauren’s new book, “The True Love Experiment.”

Written by Christina Hobbs and Lauren Billings, the book features a rambunctious main character, Felicity “Fizzy” Chen. She’s an over-the-top, proud feminist. The book comes as a sequel to their previous best-seller, “The Soulmate Equation.”

During the Q&A, it was revealed the authors had originally said they would not give Fizzy her own book. They said it was an intimidating task to give someone so full of life their own story.

The complication came in keeping her boisterous personality without making her a caricature. In addition to this, giving her the vulnerability a main character needs without losing her fire.

They spoke of the importance a woman like Fizzy is for readers to see. They brought up women attending concerts being described as “crazy” and “rabid” while men at games are “dedicated” and “passionate.”

It’s interested the authors brought this up because just recently, a good friend of mine sent me a TED Talk by Australian author Yve Blake titled, “Why are Fangirls Scary.”

“Why is it that the image of young girls screaming their lungs out with excitement for a pop star is considered crazy, psycho, or a bit much, but the image of young boys screaming their lungs out for a footballer is perfectly normal?” Blake said. “Boys crying at the footie, — that’s the love of the game. Girls crying at a Justin Bieber concert? That’s pathetic.”

It isn’t just men who feel this way — we have all been trained to believe it. When my sister went through her Justin Bieber phase, (thank God it’s over) we all thought she was certifiably nuts. A Justin Bieber phone case, cardboard cut out, bed sheets, phone background and more. She sobbed when he canceled the rest of his tour, including the show she was supposed to go see.

Even as I write this, I’m thinking she was a little out there. In English, we had to rewrite a famous poem. She turned the Walt Whitman masterpiece, “O Captain! My Captain!” into “O Justin! My Justin!”

But let’s replace that with a high school boy who wears a Kansas City Chiefs hat and shirt. His bedroom features Chiefs blankets and posters. He has a Chiefs lanyard and punched the wall when they lost the 2022 AFC Championship game to the Bengals. It still seems reasonable.

I think it’s time we embrace our inner “Fizzy” and let our freak flags fly. Scream for Harry Styles or Patrick Mahomes, and wear whatever the heck you want!

Along with that, we have to let others show their passion however they see fit. If someone wants to defile a poem for Justin Bieber, we’ll just have to find a way to not judge.