SMITH: Warm fuzzies matter

The other day I saw a cartoon that made me stop and think. It was a child being told something by parents. There were no words, just a sad look on the kid’s face. Then next frame showed the child being spoken to by another adult — same deal, sad face. One more picture like that led to the kicker — the fourth frame: a video game where the child sat alone playing and words of encouragement showed on the screen.

No wonder kids (and those of us who are no longer kids) enjoy video games so much. They constantly reward you with praise and prizes.

I used to play one of those match three games that praised me in French. “C’est bon, tres bien, magnifique!” There’s just something about being told you are wonderful in a beautiful language that warms your heart. (I mean all I did was match enough digital candies to make it through the level — not much of an accomplishment, but it felt like it was.)

Imagine how nice it would be if your work computer was programmed to do that. “Great job, you wrote six paragraphs!” with a little shower of fireworks for finishing your story. If you earn enough of these little coins by spelling your words right, you can trade them in for a fancy font or pretty color. (I think I’m on to something. I may have to figure out how to create some software.)

Imagine if we said something every time we saw someone do something well. Maybe we should all carry some gold stickers to give out — ooh, or those scratch and sniff ones my fifth-grade teacher had. That way you can say “Atta boy” without much of a fuss or embarrassing someone.

A few years back, I was helping host a women’s convention at our church in Virginia and I came upon the story of warm fuzzies. You see, warm fuzzies are the nice things you say and do. If you don’t give away your warm fuzzies, it creates a shortage and the cold pricklies take over. If you do give them away, they tend to multiply and everyone has even more warm fuzzies to give away.

We did a fun little activity involving little pom poms with paper feet and googly eyes — What doesn’t get better with googly eyes added? — and then gave away the warm fuzzies we made along with saying something nice to the person we gave them to, It made for a nice afternoon of people complimenting each other and feeling pretty good.

Letting people know that you notice their effort doesn’t take much on your part. Just a word or two might lift a person’s whole day.

What originally got me thinking about this topic was the recent 15th anniversary of my nephew Turtle’s death. He was 14 and quite the charmer. After he died, people came out of the wood work telling my brother and sister-in-law stories of things he had done for them and how much they appreciated him. Many of these people were strangers — or as close to strangers as you can be in a tiny town.

If Turtle hadn’t died, would these people have ever thought to tell his parents how they felt? Probably not.

A few days ago, I saw a young man take the time to strike up a conversation with another kid who is a bit “difficult” to like. It was only a minute or two, but it was enough to make the second guy feel wanted and not left out.

I decided to reach out to his parents. I have to admit, my normal response is to just think about things like that and then decide it’s too awkward or intrusive or I just wait too long and the moment has passed, but this time I followed through. It was just a short text message, but I hope it made them feel good for just a minute. (I also hope they didn’t embarrass their son too much, if they said anything to him at all. — If they did, sorry kid, that wasn’t my intention.)

Spring is a good time to turn over a new leaf — so to speak. Let’s make this year about seeing the good things people do and letting them know we noticed. You know those nice little notes people leave on obituary pages, what if we said those out loud before the person dies?

Let’s plant warm fuzzies and lift each other up. It only takes a second, and it matters.

•••

Let me know what matters to you at rsmith@crestonnews.com, 641-782-2141 ext. 6433, or c/o Creston News Advertiser, 503 W. Adams St., Creston, Iowa 50801.