Creston father provides father figure to other kids

Father’s Day on Sunday is not just for the dads of the world.

Creston’s Will Shields, who is the father of three biological children and four adopted children, said the holiday can also have importance to a child.

“Holidays like this are tough. Kids can understand what is Father’s Day and they may have a father who is having a tough time,” he said.

Not only does Shields have his own biological and adopted children, he has had many foster children in his home. Shields and wife Becky, who is adopted, already established their adoption interest and were hearing from friends in Kansas City who were foster parents.

“We started picking their brain,” he said. “We always knew we loved children. That was a no brainer. And with Becky’s history, she was the ring leader,” he said.

The Shields became foster parents 18 years ago and work with Four Oaks Family Connections in Ankeny. Recruitment coordinator Emily Easton said interested families attend orientation meetings which train parents about how to handle traumatic events children have experienced and were removed from their homes. The foster family is then studied to make sure it meets safety standards including criminal backgrounds.

“There are things we can overlook,” Easton said. We do want understand the situation around them, but we don’t want to lose a great foster family with a situation 20 years ago that can be overlooked.”

Foster families are not all the same, which is ideal for Easton since not every foster child is the same.

“The right family can look a lot of different ways. They can own their home or rent. They can be a big family or small. The right fit will look right for the kids. It’s jus a family that will provide a safe home,” she said.

After licensing, families are matched with desired children including age and the child’s background.

“We started three days after the license,” Shields said about the immediacy of the need. “We barely got it on the wall and got a phone call.”

No matter how fast it was, Shields said he and Becky were ready.

“With having children on our own, we felt somewhat prepared. Kids have gone through stuff. We just have to be patient and try and work with them,” he said.

Part of that preparation was informing their own biological children, who were 14, 10 and 17 at the time, the potential for foster children to live with them.

“We had multiple talks with them about the foster children. ‘You won’t be the only three kids now.’ Spread mom and dad around. They won’t be exclusive every minute,” he said.

Shields said his children responded by assisting with needs around the house and showing the foster children the family routines and procedures.

“Help can come from a kid similar in age than a parent,” he said.

Shields said it is common to have a “honeymoon” like experience at first with the foster child as both sides are getting to know each other. But he expects the day for the child to show his true personality when a stressful or frustration moment occurs.

Even though the help was there from the biological children, Shields said he still needed to remember his training and his personal goals. The typical parent-child relationship or bonding won’t happen at first.

“You got to be patient and be patient as time goes by. The more you see, the better you can handle it. Don’t jump off the handle if the child does something not correct. Be patient. Ask questions. Let them know you will be there,” he said.

Easton also has been a foster parent. For people going through the training, they hear from other foster parents about their experiences.

“They can ask the parents what they have been through and lived through. That is a great way to start to build those relationships,” she said.

Relationships are key to the foster experience as one objective is to have the foster child return to their biological parents and families.

“A big part of foster is care is to have the reunited with their birth parents. We are working with birth moms and dads to also meet those goals,” she said.

Shields said having a foster child leave his home is part of the process, one that is bittersweet. During the 18 years they have been a foster family, there have been more than 60 foster children under their roof.

“I lost count,” he said.

Even though they have left the Shields home, they have not left the relationship. Shields said one foster girl had kept up with the family for an extended amount of time.

“It is tough to see them leave. But we want them to go back to the best situation, but that is not my call. We will support any way we can,”

The girl asked Shields to attend her wedding, which he walked her down the aisle. He called it a true bonus being a foster parent.

“I consider her my daughter and her kids my grandchildren,” he said.

Shields said his wife Becky was asked to escort a teenage girl during a high school homecoming ceremony or the girl would have been alone.

Easton said efforts are made for the foster family and biological family to communicate at the right times. It is common for the foster family and biological parents to attend sport events, school activities or routine doctor appointments.

“That way, everybody is in the loop,” Easton said.

She said Union County and the surrounding areas are in need of more foster families. When a child enters into foster care and the area does not have an available foster family, that child is moved to another town possibly creating more distance from the biological family. Four Oaks is partnering with local foster parents to plan a foster care information session 9:30 a.m., July 10 at Crest Baptist Church where people can learn about foster care.

For more information, contact Easton at 6900 NE 14th St, Ankeny, IA 50023 or by telephone at 515-509-4935.