Digital Access

Digital Access
Access from all your digital devices and receive the latest news and updates from around the area.

Home Delivery

Home Delivery
Local news, sports, opinion, community and more!

‘Every cloud has a silver lining’

HOLLYWOOD – God Bless America, and how’s everybody?

Business Week reports that the economy has resulted in a booming business during tax season this spring for tax accounting firms, online tax firms as well as tax attorneys. Yet often times, professional advice is not enough to get a good refund. I need a tax person who’s not afraid of prison.

The White House showcased CDC’s safety instructions to the nation to combat Corona Virus Thursday but pundits criticized Trump for downplaying the danger. But to be fair, the virus has a mortality rate of only 2% You are far more likely to die from testifying against the Clintons.

Hillary Clinton held the opening for her autobiographical documentary called Hillary about her life growing up, marrying Bill, becoming First Lady, then Senator and Secretary of State. In the documentary, Bill says he used Monica Lewinsky for stress relief. Hillary was close, but no cigar.

The Los Angeles Marathon angered locals Sunday by closing down Sunset Boulevard in West Hollywood and Santa Monica Boulevard in Beverly Hills. There was an upside. People who ran the Marathon said it’s nice to finally get from downtown L.A. to Santa Monica in less than four hours.

The Comedy Store Sunday marked my 44th year onstage since I came out to L.A. from OU. I thank God my first tutor was Richard Pryor. If I were a young comic today, I would be obliged to tell jokes that are gender-neutral, ethnically-neutral and age-neutral that celebrate our diversity.

President Trump slammed the mainstream media Sunday for stirring up fears while the White House carries out his attack on Corona Virus. Social media isn’t helping. It’s amazing how my Facebook friends were all constitutional scholars just a month ago and today they are infectious disease experts.

San Francisco is closing its city venues to audience events as a nod to protection from the contagion. Crowds on the campaign trail could also be at risk. The CDC says old people with past medical conditions are the most susceptible to Corona Virus, but they didn’t specify Biden or Sanders.

Bernie Sanders and Joe Biden began butting heads in Michigan this week with Biden trying to sound more progressive and Bernie trying to sound more reasonable. Lately Bernie’s socialism street cred is starting to slip. He’s now vowing to run for president until he’s paid enough to go away.

International Women’s Day was celebrated Sunday all over the nation from San Francisco to Washington, D.C., with public events, political speeches and protest marches. They had to act fast. I tried to enjoy International Women’s Day but it’s only 78% as long as a normal day.

President Trump added Italy to the list of places that aren’t allowed to fly people to the United States due to the pandemic’s concentrated infections in Northern Italy. It’s very serious there. On Friday, Italy restricted the movements of one-quarter of its population, stifling millions of hand gestures.

Kim Kardashian brought six released female prisoners to the White House for photos this last week. She loves her new role advocating for non-violent prison inmates which helps her shed her bimbo image. I’m not saying it’s not working, but today, Kim is seeking the release of the COVID-19.

The Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta hosted President Trump in their laboratories last week to assure the jittery public they’re testing vaccines. In light of all the panic-buying of hand sanitizers and toilet paper the CDC has just renamed Coronavirus. They’re now calling it Moronavirus.

President Trump discussed his Corona Virus response at his town hall meeting in Scranton, Pennsylvania, on Thursday and urged everyone to stay calm and take normal precautions. One expert warned that the virus could shut down Congress for six months. Every cloud has a silver lining.

Loading more