Kaepernick taking a ‘Wounded Knee’

HOLLYWOOD – God bless America, and how’s everybody?

The Walt Disney Company raised the price of tickets to enter Disneyland to $125 for one adult. The announcement added that everyone over the age of 10 is considered an adult. Prince Andrew heard that and traded his crown for a set of Mickey Mouse ears.

China banned the U.S. Navy from docking at Hong Kong after the U.S. passed a law supporting freedom for Hong Kong. In a further act of domestic repression, China banned Hip Hop music from Chinese television. This was bad news for China’s biggest Hip Hop music star, Notorious MSG.

Colin Kaepernick attracted news cameras Thursday when he appeared on Alcatraz Island in the San Francisco Bay to address an anti-Thanksgiving gathering of Native American tribes in the region. It appears that Colin Kaepernick’s launching a new protest. He’s taking a Wounded Knee.

London hosted the leaders of the nations belonging to the North Atlantic Treaty Organization on the seventieth anniversary of NATO’s founding. In his remarks Trump focused his concern on America’s three deadliest threats. They are Russia, North Korea and Popeye’s chicken sandwiches.

The National Retail Federation was jubilant over holiday sales reports saying that Christmas spending exceeded even last year’s record high total, as bargain hunters swarmed the malls. I had a very successful Black Friday. I saved over $100 and it only cost me six of my teeth.

President Trump was ripped by spending watchdog groups for the government expense of his golf outings. The president spent the day after Thanksgiving golfing in Florida at the country club that he owns. Leave it to President Trump to spend Black Friday doing the whitest thing possible.

President Trump received a ninety percent approval rating from Republicans Friday. Another poll the same day reported that 53% of Republicans said that President Trump is better than Lincoln. Joe Biden promptly asked what kind of idiot would compare a president to a car?

Car and Driver magazine announced Monday that Rolls-Royce is set to produce the world’s most expensive Sport Utility Vehicle. The listed sticker price is $382,000. The SUV is so luxurious that the cup-holder is an Englishman named Sir Cedric.

The Wall Street Journal reports the FBI launched a full investigation into Jeffrey Epstein and his pals who flew back and forth with him between Pedophile Island in the Caribbean and New York City. They’ve just found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary. The latest entries are all about 16 years old.

Idaho farmers reported that the cold weather in the Northwest is destroying the state’s potato harvest this fall. They warn we could be out of French fries by the first of the year. If the same thing happens to onion rings, Trump could be the first president ever to starve to death in the White House.

House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff released the committee’s three hundred page report on its impeachment allegations against President Trump. Schiff indicated they’ve turned the corner on bribery, they turned the corner on extortion, the turned the corner on quid-pro-quo and they turned the corner on obstruction. We’ve turned four corners, we are right back where we started.