HOLLYWOOD –– God bless America, and how’s everybody?
President Trump is reportedly planning to pardon U.S. servicemen who were convicted of war crimes in Iraq and Afghanistan. Reaction to the pardons was instantaneous. Trump immediately heard from George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and Don Rumsfeld thanking him for the fresh start in life.
Palm Springs Living reported on the party scene in the town’s wealthy Del Webb senior living communities. They have one wild time. You go to parties and toss your Medicare cards into a fish bowl, then pull one out, take that person home and have someone new to tell about all your ailments.
The National Basketball Association playoffs have drawn alarmingly low TV ratings this year sparking calls for fresh new player talent to generate fan interest. Help is on the way. In just four weeks, the NBA will hold their annual NBA College Player Draft, or as the Kardashians call it, Tinder.
Beverly Hills plastic surgeons were surveyed to find out what plastic surgery procedures are in the most demand from women patients this year. Doctors replied that far away the most popular procedure today is breast reduction. That makes sense, women look much better with just two of them.
The New York Post reports a cross-dressing man wearing a dress and brassiere was arrested robbing a bank on Staten Island. It’s another reminder of the ultra-sensitive world we now inhabit. Jack Kennedy was wearing a corset when he was shot, so today his death would also be a hate crime.
Joe Biden staged a fundraising raid on Hollywood last week, raising $800,000 and earning the contempt of GOP conservatives. Rush Limbaugh annoyed me last week when he said Hollywood is nothing but a bunch of pampered, spoiled elitists. He sounds just like my butler.
The Chicago Tribune reported down-state Illinois legislators drew up a bill allowing the state of Illinois to separate from the city of Chicago. It’s a bad influence. Illinois is the only state in the union where the governor rides around in a limo bearing license plates made by the previous governor.
The Senate and House went home for the Memorial Day holiday weekend amid alarming new polls saying Congress’s approval rating is only 16%. Count me in. For his birthday this year, I’m buying my Congressman a Tourette’s Alarm Clock, and is he ever in for a rude awakening.