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‘Five buttery biscuits and two boxes of Popeye’s chicken’

HOLLYWOOD — God bless America, and how’s everybody?

World Cup star Megan Rapinoe demanded that women players be paid same as men. However progress can be slow. A women’s suffragette once threw herself in front of a racehorse during the English Derby in the name of voting rights, and 106 years later horses still can’t vote.

Cosmetics World reports that make-up for pre-teenage girls is a hot-selling item for Christmas gifts in department stores across the country. They have to be very careful. Last weekend in Beverly Hills a 9-year-old girl disappeared after using a moisturizer that makes you look 10 years younger.

McDonald’s CEO Steven Easterbrook was fired by the Board of Directors for having an affair with an office staffer at the McDonald’s corporate headquarters. Apparently their sex games got a little kinky. He would have the staffer put on a red pony-tailed wig and make him square hamburgers.

The New Orleans Times-Picayune reported that Kanye West held a huge revival in Louisiana Sunday to 6000 people. He preached and drew everyone to the altar call. For his miracle, Kanye was able to feed the 6000 with five buttery biscuits and two boxes of Popeye’s chicken.

President Trump’s lawyers vowed to take the privacy of his tax returns to the Supreme Court Tuesday. They can cite precedents dating back to English common law saying Trump’s tax returns are his own private and confidential business. No one must ever learn that he too was born in Kenya.

The Washington Nationals enjoyed a reception at the White House Monday to celebrate their World Series win. They wore MAGA hats at the podium and thanked Trump for protecting the country. It was the first time in World Series history where the winning team booed their home crowd.

NBC News advised Hillary not to enter the race before Nancy Pelosi’s probe gets to the bottom of Ukraine’s election meddling on Hillary’s behalf in 2016. What do you get when you cross Hillary Clinton with Nancy Pelosi? No one knows because nobody has ever lived past crossing Hillary.

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