Digital Access

Digital Access
Access crestonnews.com from all your digital devices and receive the latest news and updates from around the area.

Home Delivery

Home Delivery
Local news, sports, opinion, community and more!
Argus Hamilton

‘Flaming for forty years’

HOLLYWOOD – God bless America, and how’s everybody?

The Beverly Hills Courthouse put up its Nativity Scene on the lawn Monday, which is annually a major tourist attraction despite hostility to the display by locals. The other night a smart aleck asked me what Jesus’ full name was. So I dropped a bowling ball on his foot and he got all three right.

The American Audubon Society published a troubling report on the declining bird population in North America on Friday. It reveals there are three billion fewer birds in North America than there were fifty years ago. Most of that came after Popeye’s introduced their Spicy Chicken Sandwich.

NBC News showed dramatic footage of firefighters on the fire lines Saturday battling wildfires on the periphery of Southern California suburbs and far up north in California forests. There is very little concern about more fires here in West Hollywood. This city has been flaming for forty years.

House Republicans ridiculed the impeachment inquiry rules passed last week that hamstring Trump defenders. House Democrats aren’t sure if Trump will get re-elected, so they’re going to impeach Trump to make sure he gets re-elected. It’s what drug addicts call protecting their supply.

Indiana authorities exhumed the body of America’s most famous bank robber, John Dillinger, from his concrete-encased grave. His relatives wanted to make sure it was him. Well, it was Dillinger alright, and they discovered that, true to form, the bank robber died wearing a Bernie in ’36 tee-shirt.

President Trump will drape a medal around the neck of Conan the Hero Army Dog this week at the White House. It was revealed Conan is a female despite her male name. This week, Conan could become the first transgender whose neck Trump’s had his hands around since Rudy Giuliani’s.

Washington, D.C. hosted another weekend protest by environmental activists over the weekend who demanded the federal government take drastic action on climate change. Jane Fonda spent another night in jail Friday after her fourth arrest in four weeks. She’s not protesting, she’s homeless.

University of Michigan scientists published research into the brain’s pleasure center and they discovered chocolate chip cookies are just as addictive as cocaine. It may be why the new puppet on Sesame Street is named Cokie Monster. And he looks remarkably like the young Argus Hamilton.

People magazine covered the close friendship that has developed between Lindsay Lohan and Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salmon. It’s puzzling to many. The best guess in Hollywood is, the Saudis are showcasing Lindsay as an example of why women should never be allowed to drive.

The Democratic field began to narrow Friday as Texas former Congressman Beto O’Rourke withdrew from the race. It looked bad when with Iowa voters, he was polling zero percent, tied with O’Doul’s. So now it looks like Beto will have go door-to-door by himself to gather up all the guns.

Sydney Airport customs agents busted a huge shipment of meth shipped to Australia from the U.S. hidden in chili sauce bottles. Back here, a meth lab was discovered inside a bathroom at a WalMart in Indiana. Authorities had no choice but to cordon off the area and declare it a part of Florida.

Loading more