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Argus Hamilton

Walmart’s worst greeter

HOLLYWOOD – God bless America, and how’s everybody?

USC Athletic Director Lynn Swann announced his resignation in L.A. Monday. He is stepping down after scandals that centered on bribing coaches for athletic scholarships rocked the school. No one wants to say money changed hands Monday, but USC’s new athletic director is Lori Laughlin.

Walmart cut bullet sales but gunfire isn’t the store’s only violence problem. Last week a 60-year-old man was arrested for slapping a two-year-old child he’d never met before because she wouldn’t stop crying at a Walmart in Georgia. This man is probably the worst greeter they ever hired.

President Trump on Monday pronounced dead the peace talks he’d planned to hold personally with the leaders of the Taliban after they staged an attack in Kabul. The terrorists have admitted the attack was a mistake. As a show of good will, the Taliban just offered to send peacekeepers to Chicago.

Aviation Weekly reports that airlines are seriously considering weighing passengers to be able to estimate the amount of fuel the trip requires. I guess they’ll board in three sections, First Class, Coach and USDA. The worst part is weighing in and then having your boarding pass stamped Cargo.

The Salt Lake City News reports a Utah man was out hunting when he was accidentally shot in the right arm by his hunting dog who pawed the trigger at the wrong time. The shooting probably taught the hunter a lesson he’ll never forget. This is the last time he will ever pretend to throw the ball.

President Trump effusively praised FEMA and Florida’s two senators and governor for how they managed public safety as Dorian approached. However, Florida’s attorney general’s office received angry complaints about price-gouging during the hurricane. And that was just at Starbucks.

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