Digital Access

Digital Access
Access from all your digital devices and receive the latest news and updates from around the area.

Home Delivery

Home Delivery
Local news, sports, opinion, community and more!

‘Scissors cuts paper’

HOLLYWOOD – God bless America, and how’s everybody?

Mike Pence was in Poland Sunday for the 80th anniversary of World War II. Yesterday I saw side-by-side photographs of Winston Churchill holding up two fingers in the V for Victory sign and Hitler giving the stiff-handed Nazi salute, and I realized why we won the war. Scissors cuts paper.

Cadbury Chocolate Bars announced it’ll celebrate racial diversity by creating a new candy bar named the Unity Bar. The Unity Candy Bar will consist of four different colored chocolates, from dark brown to white. To honor the trans-gender community the candy bar may self-identify as a salad.

Hurricane Dorian was upgraded to a Category 4 Saturday when it suddenly veered away from Florida and headed toward the Middle Atlantic states. The hurricane has done an excellent job of mimicking Donald Trump. It’s turning right, blowing hard and upsetting everybody on the East Coast.

Florida officials warned Florida residents near the hurricane’s possible path to evacuate and to storm-proof their homes and businesses. One thing is clear from seeing all the houses, apartments and church and store windows that were all boarded up. Detroit has been hurricane-ready since 1984.

Hurricane Dorian was reported heading up the Eastern Seaboard Saturday, dumping massive rainfall amounts on its outer edge. A report about post-hurricane mosquito infestation says using anti-mosquito sprays can cause you hallucinations. I didn’t believe it until a mosquito told me about it.

The FBI just issued a Silver Alert for the New England region and quite possibly for Iowa. It seems there’s an old man wandering around New Hampshire, thinking he’s in Vermont, claiming he’s not nuts and handing out Silver Stars. If you find him, please return him to the Biden campaign.

The Los Angeles Times analyzed Democratic candidates Friday and concluded that Joe Biden, Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders have the best chance to defeat Trump. Their respective ages are 78, 71 and 76. The nomination will go to the first one to shout, Bingo!

The Federal Bureau of Prisons is expecting to be under congressional probe in September for its lax protection of Jeffrey Epstein, whose death was ruled a suicide. In addition, Bobby Kennedy’s assassin Sirhan Sirhan just survived a knife attack in prison. Who knew that HE had dirt on Hillary?

James Comey claimed he was cleared by a Justice Department finding which actually said his leaking broke the law. It’s too small a deal to prosecute. Afterwards you could tell by the bitter back-and-forth over Twitter that Donald Trump still hasn’t forgiven Comey for making him president.

James Comey was let off the prosecution hook Thursday but nobody was cheering. Democrats believe Comey cost Hillary the election and Republicans loathe Comey for maneuvering Trump into the special counsel probe. Comey is so hated by both parties that the only job he could get is president.

The White House agreed to meet with Democrats to try to hammer out a bi-partisan agreement to try to reduce mass shootings. Americans are entitled to self-protection. One reason for carrying a gun is because carrying a cop everywhere is too heavy, and besides, you’ve got to feed and water them.

Loading more