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Argus Hamilton

‘Honorary Kennedy’

HOLLYWOOD – God bless America, and how’s everybody?

Tiger Woods is a favorite to win the PGA Championship this week on Long Island. Last week, he was awarded the Medal of Freedom, however this week Tiger is being sued for helping to cause a fatal car crash. With that, and his dozens of affairs, Tiger is going to be made an honorary Kennedy.

Prince Harry and Meghan’s baby boy will be raised a dual U.S.-UK citizen meaning he could grow up to be both king of England and U.S. president. As king he’d have the right to create nobles, known as Peers of the Realm. Right now, the United States has only one recognized peer, and that’s R. Kelly.

New York’s disgraced former Congressman Anthony Weiner finished his required post-prison stay in a halfway house in Brooklyn after Weiner serving two years in the state penitentiary over his sexting scandal. You can tell he’s been away for awhile. The first one he sexted was Alyssa Milano.

China raised the tariff on all U.S. goods entering China from ten percent to twenty-five percent Monday. China’s trade minister scolded President Trump for being boastful about U.S. chances of winning the tariff battle. The problem with Chinese tariffs is, an hour later you’re hungry for more.

Governor Gavin Newsom criticized Trump’s tariff tiff with China, citing cultural ties between California and China. Each December the Christmas bulbs strung around my house help keep me in the holiday spirit. In fact, I leave them on all year and everyone thinks it’s a Chinese restaurant.

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