Always an ally

Greenfield has made an incredibly progressive move by opening a community center for the GLBT, or LGBT, community. No matter what order you put the letters in, it will still be a safe place for individuals in the gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and transgender community.

I have been around for a while. I’ve seen being “gay” evolve from being one of those taboo subjects people only discussed behind closed doors to being something people explored or claimed openly.

The conversation about sexual orientation is changing. Words and phrases like “acceptance,” “tolerance,” “way of life” and “choice” are slowly being weeded out as people are beginning to understand that who we are attracted to may have more to do with biology than psychology.

Eliminating those words presents a bit of a problem though. How do you talk about being an ally and a friend to the LGBT community without saying you “accept” their “way of life?”

I still don’t know.

In my mind, saying that you are developing a tolerance or beginning to accept that a friend is gay denotes a sense of distaste. In effect, by saying, “I accept that you are gay,” I am really saying, “I don’t like it, but I will accept that you prefer to sleep with other men/women.”

What about that word? Choice?

I don’t believe people choose to be gay. I don’t believe they choose to be transgender. I think it’s biological, and science tends to agree with me.

There are cultures that embraced members who were, and are, gay, lesbian, bi-sexual or transgender.

In Native American culture, an individual who shares a blend of male and female spirit is referred to as “two-spirit.” These individuals held positions as healers, spiritual leaders and historians to name a few. It was only when European Christians came to the New World and didn’t understand the Native American culture and way of life that things began to change.

As part of the process to force Native Americans to conform to their way of life, these Christians attempted to eradicate the two-spirit custom. These individuals were forced into gender specific roles and if that didn’t work, perhaps the two-spirit individual would be killed.

I don’t know what’s worse – forcing people to be something they’re not, or choosing to ignore the fact that they exist.

West Virginia Republican Eric Porterfield recently said the LGBT community was worse than the KKK and he would see if his children “could swim” if he found out they were gay.

His comments made me sick. Listening to him talk about his own children like that hurt my heart.

When I lived in Laramie, I was a photographer for a non-profit burlesque troupe. I developed extremely close relationships with all of the performers. Some of them were gay or lesbian or bi-sexual. There was one who was transgender. All of them were amazing people who were thoughtful, caring, compassionate, funny and talented and ... you get the picture.

I always told them if they ever needed a safe place to be, they could crash on my couch. They knew that if their family didn’t want them, they could come and be part of my family and they would be accepted with open arms. My son’s friends also knew that my home was open to them if they needed a safe place or someone to talk to.

I am, and will always be, an ally for the LGBT community. My door is always open and it takes five minutes to brew a pot of coffee.

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Contact the writer:

Twitter: @denise_CNA

Email: dcaskey@crestonnews.com