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Argus Hamilton

Argus’ Best of 2018: Part 2

HOLLYWOOD – God bless America, and how’s everybody?

Welcome to part two of our annual week’s review of the past year, 2018 in jokes.

March

Grand Rapids College is holding a White Privilege Conference at Michigan taxpayer expense this week. They teach the U.S. is a racist, sexist country that poisons its water, jails its minorities and exploits its poor. And that it’s wrong to stop immigrants from coming here to enjoy its many blessings

National Realtors Association predicted a real estate boom with the huge Millennial generation entering their thirties, beginning to settle down and get married and buy homes. Of course no generation is perfect. I love Millennials but they’d unplug my life support to recharge their cell phone.

The White House announced Thursday President Trump accepted Kim Jung Un’s invitation to meet at Singapore for de-nuclearization talks. The news struck me as a little TOO good. May I be the first to warn President Trump that Kim Jung Un will probably be wearing a wire for Robert Mueller.

Papa John’s dropped its NFL sponsorship Thursday due to outrage over the National Anthem protests that’s growing rapidly. Last night in the Comedy Store parking lot, I dropped to one knee in solidarity with four other comedians. However they chased me away after I rolled four straight sevens.

April

Joe Namath praised Oklahoma’s Baker Mayfield Tuesday as the most outrageous quarterback in the NFL draft. Joe says he loves Mayfield’s confident swagger, which is typical of many young adults in the Millennial generation. I love how Millennials walk into the room like they rent the place.

Mexico’s President Niete Pena canceled a planned visit to the White House this week after he and President Trump had a contentious phone conversation Friday. It’s nothing time won’t heal. The Mexican people are reportedly insulted over U.S. plans to build a border wall but they’ll get over it.

President Trump held a GOP fundraiser at a highly secure home in Beverly Hills Sunday. The house has a long driveway from the curb to the front door. In Beverly Hills, the location of your mailbox shows how far from your house you can walk in a robe without looking like a mental patient.

Come back Tuesday for part 3 of the Year in Jokes!

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