March 29, 2024

Farewell to a cheerleader of life

Cancer strikes popular East Union educator, community activist

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Jean Sheridan died the way that she lived — with strength and compassion for others.

Jean, 68, of Afton died Feb. 17 at Greater Regional Hospice Home after being diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer. Doctors at Mercy Medical Center in Des Moines called it one of the most aggressive forms of glioblastoma they had seen after she’d fallen from her bed on New Year’s Day.

When 38-year-old Matt Sheridan, the only child of Jean and Don Sheridan, broke the news of the diagnosis to her in a Mercy hospital room, her reaction was in the same vein as her approach to the rest of her life.

“My mom was never someone who was afraid to roll up her sleeves and get into the tussle,” Matt said. “She was fearless. At the time, Dad was in the hospital back in Creston with influenza after passing out in Wal-Mart. So I was there and had to give her the news about the terminal nature of her illness. She was thinking more of me than of herself at that difficult moment. She tried to reassure me. She said, ‘Well, there will be some pain, you’ll be sad and I’ll miss you. But everything will be OK.’ She never once cried about it, at least in front of us. She stayed strong all the way through.”

Jean certainly isn’t the only area resident to get such a grave prognosis. But, it would take a thorough search to find someone who had a positive impact on more lives through four decades of working with young people and on community projects in the Afton area.

In 1970 she and Don, now 81, were married and moved to rural Arispe. Don was a longtime instructor at Southwestern Community College.

Jean, a Lamoni native, became an English instructor and director of the drama club at East Union High School. She later earned a master’s degree in guidance counseling. After working for a couple of years for Union County Extension Service in providing educational programs, she returned to East Union as a counselor before retiring nine years ago.

Many causes

However, she stayed active in the schools and many other organizations. She helped establish the annual East Union all-class reunion, was active in East Union Dollars for Scholars and Cancer Honor Ride, and was one of the founders of The Learning Center of Southwest Iowa in Creston.

“She was a cheerleader to those seeking higher education or a better life,” Tammy Ross wrote on Matt’s Facebook page during Jean’s illness. And, The Learning Center was a great example of that. It is a nonprofit organization designed to provide children who learn differently with supplemental screening and tutoring services and the support needed to achieve academic success.

Matt said his mother was the champion of the “every child,” meaning those who maybe had a more dysfunctional home life than others, or faced other difficulties on the path to success.

When the family received the diagnosis and realized time was short, Matt and wife Becca organized a community gathering Jan. 15 at the Afton Community Center. Matt said it would be a way for people to “have their farewell” in one setting, as time in the hospice home was reserved for family.

“Even though she was having trouble communicating since she had a stroke last Sept. 28, when I asked her about doing it her face lit up,” Matt said. “She was all smiles.”

The outpouring of people to visit with Jean on a day beset with freezing rain, making driving difficult, left an impact on Jean and Don. More than 100 people stopped by during the two-hour event, and many others left messages saying they regretted not being able to attend. Hundreds of cards were received by the family.

“So many people came up to me, most of them crying, and thanked us for providing that opportunity,” Matt said. “There were people I knew of as kind of gruff farmers and blue-collar guys, coming in and just sobbing as they came up to her. It was eye-opening for me. It just added another level of respect and adoration that I had for my mom, to see that kind of reaction from people I had never seen be like that.”

Don felt the same level of appreciation.

“Jeanie was really a special person,” Don said. “She didn’t want any of this crying over the casket kind of thing that tends to happen at funerals. She’d rather say goodbye to people while she was able to, and visit with them about the good times. I told Matt that was the nicest thing he could have planned. She loved it.”

Public service

In lieu of a traditional visitation and funeral service after her death, a similar program is planned for 1-3 p.m Sunday, March 5 at Three Mile Lake Lodge (see related story below).

“Mom never wanted a funeral or visitation where people would come and be sad,” Matt said. “She wanted a get-together where we could all come together and share happy stories, much like the East Union all-school reunions she helped organize.”

Over the past weekend, Don confirmed the date for use of the lodge with Union County Conservation, which was also one of the Sheridan family’s passions. They loved outdoor activities. Don said a microphone will be set up inside the lodge and the format will be casual.

"Anyone who wants to get up and share a story about some good times is welcome to," Don said. "At the community center, people visited with her and shared their stories, reminding her of the impact she had on their lives. But, so many people said they couldn't make it that day and wished they'd had that chance. So, we thought let's end on a positive note. Let's get together and share stories, drink some coffee and just be human about it."

That’s how Jean would have liked it, according to longtime East Union colleagues Marcy Gammell and Sue Rusk.

"Just hearing that name stirs so many thoughts and emotions," Gammell said. "She was so special and so dedicated. You know, she went to Iowa State University as an exchange teacher so she would know what freshmen in college would need as a student there. As a special education teacher, I worked with students who had learning disabilities and we tried to integrate them into the regular classes. Jean was teaching high level English classes, but her motto was always, 'We can make this work.' She connected with kids because she made the effort to understand them and some of the things they were going through."

“Jean’s favorite saying was, ‘How hard can it be?’ and that is the way she lived life,” said Rusk, retired East Union librarian. “Teaching hundreds of sophomores, directing plays and speech competitions, learning how to canoe with the Canoe Kids ... the list is long! We, as a staff, looked to Jean for guidance.”

Don said it wasn’t unusual to get up in the morning and see a young person sleeping on a couch in their house or rummaging through food in the kitchen to make themselves breakfast.

“Many times kids who were having fights with their families, or some other sort of dysfunctional issue, would come in when we were asleep,” Don said. “Jeanie would haul them to school or to their home. Sometimes they just needed a shoulder to lean on or someone to visit with, and Jeanie was that kind of special person they’d go to.”

Lifelong companions

For Don, who traveled throughout Iowa and northern Missouri entertaining crowds with “rural humor” in skits with Jean, losing his life partner has been difficult.

“We were in our 47th year of marriage, but Jeanie always corrected me to say it’s 94 years,” Don said. “She said, ‘My 47 years are not the same as your 47 years!’ “

As Jean desired to be cremated, he recalled the afternoon he stopped at Pearson Family Funeral Service & Cremation Center in Creston.

“When I picked up the ashes at the funeral home, that was hard,” Don said, quietly. “They handed me a box with a bag with her ashes in it. I walked out to the car, placed it on the passenger seat, and sat and cried for about 15 minutes. I thought, this is what it ends up being after all those years.”

One of Jean’s hobbies was poetry, and years ago she wrote this Haiku passage, almost a foreshadowing of events that lay ahead.

“She who loves flowers

Has died, yet he who loved her

Still waters dried blooms”

In 2012, on her Facebook page, Jean copied a “Motto to Live By” from a friend’s Facebook page. It captured the essence of her rich, selfless life that seemed to offer a different adventure each day.

“Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, latte in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, ‘WOO HOO, whatta ride!”

— — — — —

A Celebration of Life service for Jean Sheridan will be held 1 to 3 p.m. March 5 at Three Mile Lake Lodge north of Afton.

The family said the public is welcome to an informal "sharing of stories and fellowship" with those whose lives were touched by Sheridan, who died Feb. 17 at Greater Regional Hospice Home in Creston.

Sheridan was a longtime English teacher, drama coach and guidance counselor for East Union Community Schools.

After retirement, Sheridan was instrumental in the development of The Learning Center of Southwest Iowa in Creston. The family noted another event close to her heart is scheduled soon for that enterprise.

The Learning Center of Southwest Iowa presents "Mad as a March Hare" trivia night Saturday, March 11 at Creston Elks Lodge. Social hour is 6 p.m. and trivia challenge is scheduled 7 to 10 p.m.

Corporate tables can be reserved for $350 and individual fee is $35. For information or registration call The Learning Center of Southwest Iowa, 641-782-3849.